Finding the JOY in Homework
You can’t make me!
For many, the novelty of the first weeks of school is waning and parents may begin to see some pushback regarding school, specifically homework. The last thing we, as parents, want at the end of the day is a struggle with our child rather than the reconnection we are all seeking. Every child is different and what works for one does not necessarily work for the next. Setting the expectations early in the school year is important.
Try a few of these strategies if homework is being met with resistance:
GIVE CHOICES
“Would you like to do math or reading first?”
“Would you like to start with the even or odd problems?”
“Where do you think would be the best place to do this work? Let’s think of a place without too many distractions: the kitchen table, desk, couch, outside, blanket fort?”
“When would you like to complete this work? Right after school while you have a snack, during dinner prep, right after dinner?”
Nudge your child to choose a time that is not too close to bedtime when time constraints can add extra pressure, along with exhaustion from the day.
FIND THE JOY
Read the directions in a silly voice or with a funny face.
Eat a bite of snack/dinner/dessert (even better) every time a problem is completed.
Pretend to be the student and get everything wrong. Let your child show you the correct way to do the work.
Tiny celebrations after completing a step: fist bump, high five, round of applause, silent clap…
EMPATHIZE DURING A CALM MOMENT
“You really wish you didn’t have to do homework. I get that. There are things I don’t want to do, too. When I get home, I don’t like to make dinner and when you get home, you don’t want to do more work. It’s just a job we have to do. What can we do to make our jobs more joyful? I have some ideas, do you?”
GET THEM STARTED
“Would you like me to sit close by while you try the first one?” Once your child has gotten over that initial hurdle, the rest may feel downhill.
Set a timer! “Let’s give this our best for 10 minutes and take a break.” Set the timer and honor that plan. Often, after the timer goes off, students are nearly finished and decide to just knock it out! If not, revisit with another 10 minute timer at the agreed upon time.
GET TO THE ROOT OF THE ISSUE
Check for understanding. Is the homework avoidance because the work feels hard? If so, try reaching out to your child’s teacher and share what you are noticing. Maybe you will learn it is typical for a 3rd grader to struggle as they learn long division. Maybe your child needs a little more support?
